water water everywhere, and not a drop to drink....

how many times a day do you turn on the sink, the shower, the hose, to wash dishes, take a shower, wash your hands, water the lawn, do laundry, flush the toilet, drink some water. repeat. water. water. water. all the time, never a question.

where i live right now, for this year anyway, water is a luxury. everything we do that involves water has to be intentional. our showers, our dishes, cleaning, doing our laundry, flushing the toilet (yes we´re fans of the "if its yellow let it mellow...."well you know the rest)---we´re always thinking about how much water we´re using, and how to make it last longer. unlike most of our neighbors. we´re actually lucky because our water comes out of the faucet and we have a cistern that holds gallons of water. but when the powers out, or when the truck doesn´t come to, we too have to haul water out of the cistern and into buckets to shower and clean.

one day a few weeks ago, we lost power for two days straight, and it happened while we were in the middle of our BIG three month clean---so what could we do, well, we just proceeded by pulling water up out of the cistern, being so frugal with the usage, while trying our best to clean as meticulously as possible---and then after, when we were filthy dirty from cleaning our dirty house, we only had buckets of water to clean off with....now it doesn´t sound so difficult, but its moments like those when you would really appreciate water coming out of a shower spicket.

but this was only two days for us. for the majority of our neighbors, they have to constantly wait. wait for the water trucks (tanqueros) to come by while they shout Agua, Agua, trying to get their attention. if they are heard, the truck comes to their house and fills up trashcan like buckets that remain outside their house and serve as the storage of water they have until the next truck comes. if the truck comes. i have heard stories of people waiting eight days without water. imagine. eight days, without water. incredible.

and here we are in the hottest days of the year---and water is still not easily accesible. i was really thinking about this last week when we took our kids to the pool for their paseo. they were absolutely ecstatic. and i...well...was disappointed....kinda like "are you kidding me, this is the pool" if you could even call it that. it was literally a cement hole, with water that went up to your knees, but nevertheless, the kids had a ball. i just kept thinking--these kids live in ecuador, on the equator, where it is usually over 100 degrees, and some had never EVER been to a pool. ridiculous right? and i mean it rains like crazy here at night, but still that doesn´t even provide relief for the heat during the day.

i really just can´t stop thinking about it. water. something so essential, and here, so sparce.

and its not like i can even drink the water that comes out of our tap, because its not clean. ridden with parasites.....its crazy. i have literally gotten my shower down to two minutes too. turn the water on. turn the water off. shampoo, soap, face wash. turn the water on. rinse. get out. i´m a pro.

so yeah, just some food for thought. next time you turn on the water, and let it run without looking, or take a 1/2 hr shower, just think about all those places in the world where water is not so simple. where people have to be really conscious about water usage, and don´t have the luxury of not thinking about it. and i don´t mean to get all preachy on you all, its just something to think about, because honestly, before i came here, i never thought about it. and now, it´s always on my mind.

all is still really great here, i´m actually going to the beach this weekend with a bunch of people from the neighborhood. oh! and how could i forget! i´ve started teaching during my morning job! do´n´t know how i let that slip.....brief update: the school next to my clinic is running summer school classes for a month, and long story short, i got roped in to teach english. so now, for one month, i have twelve classes a week ranging from kinder to seventh grade----hysterical so funny, i love my kids. and teaching is soo fun. exhausting but fun. everyday i´ve left wtih no voice. we do songs and games and cute little rhymes---i always wanted to be a teacher, and now it´s like a get a little glimpse of what life would´ve been like. BUT, i´m also glad this is temporary, because its so hard to be creative 24/7, and think of how to entertain a classroom. so yeah, for 3 more weeks, my days are spent in front of class, acting ridiculous and trying to engage them however i can.

that´s about it. life is solid. always laughing, always smiling here. hope life is just as great in the northern hemisphere.

love you all,
miss you everyday,
jamie

GOAL!!!!

the only real purpose of this entry is to let you all know that i scored my first goal yesterday while playing fútbol with our semillas ayudantes. and who exactly are the semillas ayudantes, they are a group of about 10, seventeen to twenty year old boys who help us out at semillas and are ridiculous at soccer, absolutely ridiculous---and yes, against them...i scored a goal!

may not seem like a huge deal, but for me, this was a HUGE accomplishment! such a high!

so yeah, that´s really it---big smile still on my face, and today we´re going on a great paseo to the pool with ten of our best little semillitas. they´re so excited it´s so cute. i´ll let you know how it goes next time!
love ya,
jamie

thin places

so what exactly is a thin place? we talked about this the other night as a community and i found the image really profound---many people say that a thin place, is where the edges of heaven and earth collide, where you can feel a presence, a force, more powerful than any one thing. some people call this God, other´s call it love, i think it´s just a combination of both, where the realization of human interdependendness and connectedness are made known.

here in Ecuador i have come across many thin places---some are physically breathtaking, like when i was on vacation in Loja, looking out at the beautiful views of the mountains, or sitting in hammocks within the gardens of our hostel----but then again i have also experienced those thin places right here in Durán, those beautiful spots where i am overcome by feelings of immense love and support, and just an overall appreciation for the life i am living---sitting at Lupe´s kitchen table drinking cafécito, or playing pato, pato, pollo with the chiquititos at Semillas, or most recently running around the community during Carneval getting soaked by water and paint as our neighbors introduced us to a huge tradition here in Ecuador.

it´s those places and moments in my life where i feel that tangible love. when i feel like my life is so beautiful, and i know i am loved, and that i love so many people. and it´s not just here in Ecuador that i´ve had those experiences, they were home too. which is why i know that i will be okay when i go back to the states---these places are everywhere, it´s just a matter of recognizing them in our day to day.

life here in Durán has been excellent, like really amazing. my house community has been clicking well---i can´t remember if i told you, but we are in the midst of watching Gilmore Girls---we started about a month back with season 1, and we´re already in the middle of season 5--it´s sort of become like an obsession to us, like we have to watch it and finish all 7 seasons---dan is livid, so we can really only watch it when he´s not home, but tom on the other hand is a pretty big fan. there´s just one thing, our tv remote doesn´t work, so when we sit down to watch GG, we have to watch all 4 episodes at a time, because we can´t flick through them. it´s really a commitment ya see, and we´re very dedicated---hence you can probably understand why dan wants to kill us all. we just keep reminding him though that there´s only 2 seasons left, and that when we´re done, we´re going to have a party...and after that he can choose the show of choice.

aside from that, nothing too much going on here that´s different from the day to day--we just had two groups here, one from st. john´s prep in danvers, and one from dominican academy in nyc---both really awesome groups, lots of fun, lots of new energy. valentines day was great too, we ended up losing power, so were forced to have a candlelit dinner ha! how sweet :-)

still missing everyone like crazy----if by any chance anyone has any desire to come to ecuador, please let me know! i´d love to see your face down here! i´ve gotta run for now, but be on the look out for those thin places, let me know what you find.

love you all so much,
jamie

dengue smengue

so for the first time since i´ve been to ecuador, i legit thought i was going to die last week. now that is not to scare you all terribly, it´s just an uncensored statement about my state of health about four days ago.

due to our montón de mosquitos that constantly grace us with their presence, i contracted dengue last week. now for all of you who don´t know what dengue is í´ve done a bit of research to inform you---according to my faithful wikepedia source "The disease manifests as a sudden onset of severe headache, muscle and joint pains (myalgias and arthralgias—severe pain that gives it the nickname break-bone fever or bonecrusher disease), fever, and rash.[8] The dengue rash is characteristically bright red petechiae and usually appears first on the lower limbs and the chest; in some patients, it spreads to cover most of the body. There may also be gastritis with some combination of associated abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea."

so let´s see, severe headache, check; muscle and joint pain, check; feelings that my bones were literally being crushed, check, red rash, check, abdominal pain, nausea check--God spaired me the vomiting and diarrhea which is a good thing or i probably would´ve died----am i painting a pretty picture for you all---yes. it was absolutely horrible. i don´t recommend it for anyone, BUT i survived, and as the old saying goes, it could´ve been much worse---ya see i only has classic dengue, there´s another type, hemorrhagic where you just start hemorrhaging and that´s the case where you could potentially die. Gracias a Dios i didn´t have that one.

so now after conquering that feat i feel like saying..."what now Ecuador???--what else ya got for me?" even though i´m a little bit scared of what else could possibly come my way....as the old saying goes "Ecuador always wins", and it most certainly coul always get worse. i will say though that the community support throughout all of this was tremendous---they all kept checking on me, Karla brought me gatorade, it was all very sweet. if i couldn´t have my mom taking care of me, the next best thing was the arbolito gang.

so being healthy again rocks. you never really appreciate your health until you come off sickness. yesterday i woke up and was just like wow, it feels so good to wake up "well". and i had a great day on top of it. lots of love was being spread yesterday. i dunno what it was, but there were great vibes---patients were all friendly, i helped out at the comedor making lunch with all the women, braided so many french braids at semillas to all the little groupie girls, talked with some awesome neighbors, ate a delicious meal prepared by tom and his mom. ya know when you just have one of those days when you think, wow, this is good. that´s how i felt. i felt like God just kept gracing me all day with so much love---oh! so many letters too! you people really know how to brighten a day. i just had a permanent smile plastered on my face. but a little gentle reminder--while i do LOVE receiving things from you guys, it´s really hard to pick up packages that aren´t in bubble envelopes, or are over four pounds---so for the future, if there is a future with mail, just make sure they´re under 4, and in bubble sobres. graciasss.

and that about sums up my current thoughts for the moment. it´s hard because recently i´ve been thinking a lot about next year, coming home, and where that will leave me. lots of thoughts were leavign me with a lot of stress, and worry about what i´m supposed to do with all "this". so i finally made the executive decision that i´m not going to think about next year while i´m HERE. for exactly that reason....i am HERE...not THERE. these next 6 months are going to fly, and one day in the near future, i´m not going to have my "time in Ecuador". this is what´s important. this here and now. and really, what good is worrying about the future going to do? it´s not like i can get much done from here anyway.

so that´s that people. i hope i´ve distracted you for a minute or two, or at least got you thinking about what´s positive in your day today. because really, whatever you´re stressing about in this moment right now, probably isn´t that important. not to de-value any struggle, but honestly, what are you really battling? i´m sorry, i don´t know where this preachiness is coming from...i´ll stop now. i love you all, and miss you dearly---especially all my awesome pulsers---wherever you are, pulse office or not, know that i´m thinking about you!!!

con paz y amor,
jamie

mouse hunt!

so this past weekend our entire community spent 3 days at the beach on retreat in a town called Playas. we´re officially hitting the 6 month mark this week, and were fortunate enough to get some time away from Durán to gain some insight and perspective. lucky for me, this retreat also fell on my birthday, so while it was hard to be away from some of our neighbors that i would´ve loved to celebrate with---it was also really great to just relax and chill, swimming in the waves all weekend.

while our retreat house was not exactly the hilton, i must say, i was pretty proud of myself for going with the flow and breathing easy. i think it´s a true testament to how far i´ve come in terms of "tolerance" for the little things in life. if you had asked me to stay there 6 months ago i probably would´ve looked you in the eye and said "absolutely not, hellzzz no!", but this time around, i was much more chill about it. or at least i´d like to think so.

we all got wayy too much sun, sometimes we forget we do in fact live on the equator, but had an awesome time. for me personally, i had some time to reflect on why i did in fact decide to come to ecuador---what God is calling me to do with this experience---and where i see myself going after this....unfortunately, there were no concrete answers discovered from my internal interrogation, but i felt like it was healthy to re-evaluate things. one of my favorite things to do is journal, and sometimes it´s so hard to find time to do that here, so i was really grateful to be able to write and reflect.

so after 3 sun spent days, we headed back to Durán. completely exhausted (not sure how relaxing swimming really was) but feeling that good tired. Karla then decided she was going to make me magic cookie bars for my birthday, and after they were done, the five of us literally sat around the table with spoons just digging in! they were delicious, and we had such a giddy night just laughing and picking out celebrity spouses for each other...as simple as it sounds, i felt so blessed to be exactly where i was, and spend my 23rd birthday around such cool people.

then.....the fun came. just as karla was about to go to bed (mind you she sleeps on the same side of the house that i do) i hear this terrifying scream come from her bedroom. yes, a mouse, in her room. well of course she couldn´t go to sleep with that around, and i certainly couldn´t knowing the close proximity to my room. so the three of us, karla, theresa, and i, staged a mouse hunt running and screaming around the house until finally---must´ve been birthday luck--i caught the mouse in a bucket. we were pissing our pants laughing so hard, but at the same time were really terrified! now i am a very humane person, but unfortunately, that mouse had to go, so after some serious shakage, and a little bit of fumigation---that mouse was toast. after that escapade we were truly exhausted and headed to bed. a pretty awesome birthday if i do say so. i can´t thank everyone enough also, for the birthday wishes that were sent! it was so great to hear from my favorite people, and i loved feeling loved to be quite honest. you all mean so much to me, and if i wasn´t here celebrating my birthday, i would´ve loved celebrating with you all.

i still miss everyone constantly. you are ALWAYS in my heart! keep in touch! thanks again for all of the continued support.

love love love,
jamie

....and then the kids made me cry

so the kids at semillas made me cry today...so shitty, seriously?? who am i? i thought i was stronger than that, but today they just hit a nerve. we try so hard to teach them to be respectful, to listen, to share, to be kind and compassionate---but it´s like we talk to brick walls. there were about four fights today, rock throwing, hair pulling, and name calling in the course of two hours---and on top of it, karla wasn´t there, so it was just dan, ricardo and i holding down the fort.

i don´t know if i´ve ever talked about ricardo before, but he is one of the ecuadorian workers that helps us at semillas everyday. he is absolutely amazing, literally, there would be no semillas without him. ricardo lives in arbolito a few blocks from us, he´s 22 years old, and is so helpful and kind--the kids respond so well to him, and at times i´m so envious of his cool, calm, and collective nature. during the charla today i just lost it. i had to walk away because i didn´t want the kids to see me cry, and he came over and made sure i was okay. dan was great too, i just feel so supported here, even when things are really hard. i can be having the shittiest day ever, but i never go through it alone. someone is always there to help pick me up.

aside from the madness that was semillas today, things have been a lot better. i mean i do have about 50 mosquito bites all over my body and dan continues to call me chubby...but other than that things are good. our house community is in a chill place right now. karla´s dad and brother were here the past few days and they were just delightful to have. it was funny watching karla interact with her brother, but it was kind of bittersweet too. brandon wherever you are right now, know that i´m thinking about you---right now!

redima continues to be "okay"--nothing extraordinary, nothing horrific....just kinda mezza mez...i really love the obstetrician i work with, crazy as she is, she´s a lot of fun--- and i feel like i´m learning a lot about woman´s health, even though i really have no interest in it. still though it´s exciting hearing a babies heart beat or feeling competent enough to do exams. i just get tired of having to tell fourteen year olds that they´re pregnant, or better yet, 22 year olds (yes that´s my age) tell me they have five children---it literally knocks the wind out of me---i look at these young women, most younger then me, and when they tell me they have families of their own, sometimes four or five kids i am completely overwhelmed. the culture is just so different here. it´s not even abnormal. it´s expected. i get asked probably five times a day how many kids i have---and everytime when i say none, people are shocked!! how crazy is that? get´s me everytime, i constantly have a pit in my stomach when i see these young girls carrying babies on each arm. pray for them, okay.

so that´s a little update about where i am right now. we go on retreat tomorrow for three days which will be nice. beach again---very much needed. however, my cry today was pretty cathartic, so i feel much better. also, writing in this cyber world, strangely relieves a lot of stress too. i think i just miss you all so much, like...it´s not one thing that puts me over the edge, it´s the combination of every feeling i have needing some type of release. anywho....

know that i love and miss you all so so much! mom i got your awesome package today! and jacki....those oprah magazines absolutely made my day! see even when there´s a "low", there are so many "hi´s" to counter balance! you guys are so thoughtful, and make me feel so loved!

hope to hear from you all soon!
con bastante amor y paz,
ruega por mis niños por favor,
lupita

in the jungle you must wait until the dice read 5 or 8....

i guess the old saying still stands....be careful what you wish for.

well, the rains have come....let me rephrase, the monsoons have come.

i will comence with my ark building asap, as it will be necessary to get around over here. i honestly feel like i´ve entered a different world. we went for six months without a drop of rain, and now it doesn´t stop.

and....to top it all off, our house has turned into jumanji. this whole time, we´ve been living with these large blue X´s on our ceiling, wondering, hmmm i wonder why those are there---well then came our reason, with the rains....let´s just say we´ve got a few lakes in the empty bedrooms, and creatures have been coming in from all sides. jumanji i tell you....i´m just waiting for Alan Parrish to jump out of our bodega with a freaking lion.

not to mention the incredible amounts of mud that we have to walk through everyday. i really am not exaggerting-- "our ecuador" has been turned upside down. and i think i´m going through culture shock all over again. the mosquitos, grillos, cockroaches, yes we killed one in our house, and mice are really starting to get to me, especially because these things are commonly found in my bedroom right before i go to bed at night. you can probably imagine how well i´ve been sleeping. anyway, let´s just hope this passes soon, and this isn´t the year of El Niño as they´ve been predicting--because if that´s the case, this "rainy season" will probably last until it´s time for us to leave. (sigh) God give me strength.

i´ve gotta run and eat dinner now, but i´ll get back to this soon when i have a free minute, for now, these are the most important happenings in my life....just thought you should know about them.

love you,
jamie

and onto the next year

so it´s january. 2010. wow. still can´t even believe it.

happy new year everyone! i hope the holidays were wonderful for you all. so after a week of vacation time, some traveling to cuenca, a lot of time spent hanging with my housemates, it´s back to work.

in brief recap, cuenca was amazing--probably one of the best vacations i´ve ever been on. i´m almost embarrassed to say though that we did absolutely nothing but eat, drink, and be merry. it was a chill vacation, just hanging in parks, sitting in cafés, and laughing till our stomachs hurt. while the five of us that went are all extremely different people, we clicked so well and had a hysterical time. i can´t remember the last time i laughed so hard in my life. cuenca is a beautiful city in the mountains--great climate--a nice reprieve from the heat wave we´ve been living here, and extremely clean! no burning trash there. as simple as it was though , it brought us all so much joy and gave us a nice break from all things Durán.

and now it´s back to work. on monday i went back to redima to start the new year off, and ya wanna know the first thing they said to me when i walked in the door---ahhh lupita, ha venido mas gordita! wow, what a welcome people---simple translation: oh lupita, you can back fatter! ha you can imagine how my jaw dropped to the ground, and i basically wanted to crawl in a hole. however, i kept my composure and just smiled. NEVER in the states, would you dare say that to someone, but here, it´s incredible how simply they talk about weight. like it´s nothing. imagine walking into your job and your coworkers telling you you´ve put on the holiday pounds--yeah, not fun, but now i´m just motivated to work out a little bit more, and get back in shape.

in the beginning i was so adament about working out--jumping rope everyday, push ups, sit ups, lunges, you name it, not eating the humungous porcions that are always served to me, my roommates even thought i was crazy, and a little OCD, but i was determined not to put on the "ecua pounds"---after all that i even lost 15, and my neighbors kept telling me i was going to blow away with the winter winds--but as i´ve gotten more comfortable, and less scared of getting parasites, i´ve adapted a lot. hence the fat. what can i say though, you can never win, you´re either too skinny, or too fat--i guess i´m just going to try and be me, whatever weight that is.

so aside from the weight gain, in other news--BC is here on their winter break arrupe trip. and while i did not recognize one person from the group, it´s still great having them here, and being to talk about things that people know about; pulse, dorms, professors, etc. yesterday they came to semillas and i was shocked at how great our kids were, it was almost creepy...they were little angelitos and put on their best behavior for our guests. the chiquititos and i made "giving trees" after reading el arbol generoso, and they absolutely loved it! after about an hour of me cutting little green "leaves", they really worked so hard, and made beautiful trees to take home. i don´t think i could ever be a pre-school/kinder teacher though, so much of your life is spent cutting up shitt and preping projects for kids---little kids literally can´t do anything themselves. you have to help them do everything---even something as simple as gluing a piece of construction paper to another, nope--they constantly need attention and help. i think that´s why i hated being a kid so much. you are just so dependent on everyone else--imagine how frustrating that is? still though they did a great job, listened so well, and worked so hard to make beautiful trees! i was like a proud momma :-)

so other than that, not much new news to report on. still smiling everyday, still laughing a ton. i really want to put pictures up, but i am so technologically challenged, i really can´t figure it out without the assistance of someone from my house. so that will have to wait. oh! and i´m going to be using skype on saturday morning i think, so if you´re awake and around at like 9am, go on so that we can talk! or send me your cell number so i can call you!

i love you all and miss you so much, thanks for all of the christmas gifts too! i´m still getting them in spurts, and they continue to make me smile, "the gifts that keep on giving"---anyway, i´ve gotta run, but hope to talk to you soon!

love always,
lupita

oh p.s. "i gotta feeling" finally reached ecuador, and you have no idea how happy i am to finally hear that song again--it reminds me of all things senior year, which of course makes me smile!

Feliz Navidad!!

just stopping in for a brief moment to say Feliz Navidad to all those who i love so much.

christmas was amazing here, so beautiful and memorable. only cried for a brief 10 minutes after talking to my mom on christmas morning, but after that i pulled my shit together, and literally just danced. our arbo house woke up christmas morning, ate some delicious chocolate chip pancakes prepared by theresa and myself, headed to mass, and then had a solid 3 hour dance party singing and laughing, mainly to reggaeton, which may be in the running for my new choice music--it was insanity, but so much fun. we did our "secret santa" on a $1 budget, and were in hysterics at the creativity that arose through that restraint. let{s just so that there were a lot of "coupon" gifts, and regifts from things our parents and friends sent us, too funny. but in all seriousness, this christmas i felt so much love and joy. i had a constant smile on my face for most of the time, and this year christmas really did have a magical feel. no fighting, no obligations, no resentment. a lot of sitting around and talking and laughing. we have been laughing for about four days straight now.

one christmas tradition that we did partake in here that i absolutely loved, were the christmas posadas. it{s hard to explain the exact feeling/environment of a posada, but the gist is basically a reinactment of mary and joseph going from house to house looking for a place to say--there{s a lot of music and discussion about faith and love, and what the holidays are all about. they happen for 9 days straight, and our house went to about 4 of them. especially with the power out, and doing most of them by candle light, i was so moved. i{m sure if you wikepedia posada, you{ll get a little bit better description of what they are, but for now, just know that this tradition was something that made my christmas all that more special. i just felt so connected---through faith, and through the basic fact that we are all human, and here to love one another. it was really powerful.

so now i{m off for a week, and dan, karla, steve, john, and i have decided to head to cuenca for a little "vacation" fun. we leave tomorrow morning, and it should be great. we{re all just ready to take a break from Duran, and breathe for a bit. work has become a little mundane, and the screaming at semillas has started to make me a little sorda. so we leave tomorrow morning for a few days of reprieve.

before christmas came, we were also so blessed to have karlas mom and sister come visit us for a few days, which was awesome. just having family in the house really brought a new cheer and light, and great food too! getting to share in this experience with people back home is so profound. its one thing to describe and write and talk, but to really be here, and see and hear and feel what Duran is like brings on a whole new sentiment.

alright, well that{s about all i have time for today. thank you to everyone who sent me christmas wishes, it was just so sweet and really made my heart smile knowing that i{m not forgotten about back at home. and it{s already almost 5 months--incredible, seriously. this time is flying.

when i get home from cuenca, i promise to write a more detailed post, and give you a better update on the happenings down here. for now, just know that i{m happy, like really happy---and laughing a lot. sometimes my stomach hurts from laughing so much after sitting down with these four crazy people i live with. they are ridiculous, but i love them.

until next time, or next year i guess i could say!
sending you so much love it hurts,
love,
jamie

oh, and wikepedia grillos while you{re at it, that{s an episode i didn{t even get into, but if you can imagine the biblical times of locust, you may have accurately imagined what it{s been like in grillo season. ha, yeah so not fun.

´tis the season!

well---here we are, middle of diciembre---still can´t believe it! sorry for the lapse in time between entries. ya know, when i used to follow past volunteers blogs, i would get so frustrated when they wouldn´t post for months, but now that i´m here, i can finally see why it´s so hard to blog frequently. there is just no time!---always something to do (practice spanish, visit neighbors, read a good book, hang with my housemates, prepare HIV charlas, cook dinner, work out, write letters) but i promise i will try to be more intentional about sharing funny moments and new ideas with you!

so to start off, i wanted to tell you all that for the past few weeks i´ve been singing with our church group Nueva Generación. well now that you´re all laughing, let me explain. our music at church is awesome, and for me music is a huge part of why i feel so much at mass. well....i´m in ecuador, trying to deepen my faith and grow in spirituality, so i figured why not knock myself out and join the group! ha---keep in mind i can barely speak spanish, so singing in spanish could quite possibly be one of the funniest things---especially since i hold a microphone. yes. i hold a microphone. AND, you can´t put on the whole "apples and oranges" front on when you don´t know the words--that just doesn´t vale here, and i haven´t learned the spanish cover up for not knowing words. so because you can´t be here to listen to me sing, let me try and describe what this experience is like---this past weekend we sang campanas de belen (bells of bethlehem i think)--and this was me "BELEN, CAMPANAS DE BELEN, y los angeles baaAAbumm nuestro los baa bummm" yupp...that´s me, just hummin´along, trying to come up with words that i have no idea what should be. but i figure, what the hell--i like to sing, i like church music, and i like being a part of a group with people my own age. oh yeah that´s right, new gen (as i call it) is all people our age, and they´re awesome! such great people. therefore, why not? why not make a fool of myself? i´ve really got nothing to lose :-)

another tidbit i wanted to tell you about was that we had our employee christmas party last night--and let me just tell you---it was a BALL! wow, i think everyone had a really good time. we invited all of our guards and their families, and the people who help run our afterschool programs with us---it was just so special to be able to spend time with them. we are so close with our guards because well, they are with us literally 24-7, so meeting their families, and dancing and singing with them, was just awesome.

so here´s how things went down. karla and amy headed up the food committee- we ate pasta, mango, rice, and pineapple--how´s that for a ecua-american meal, it was delicious though!---decorations were cute, a little tacky, but cute nonetheless, and the entertainment, well that was definitely the highlight. all three of our houses decided that we would put on "dances" for our guests--you can imagine the competative spirit that arrose with that notion--they were absolutely hilarious, i was laughing like a little kid! a little synopsis includes john as a donkey, dan and tom as reindeer, and casa tomás reinventing an ecua christmas song with rostro lyrics! they were all really creative and fun! i think megan our director may have posted a video of them on facebook, so if you can access that--you may get a good laugh!

all in all though, last night was just a great holiday moment, it felt like that was christmas day for us---dancing, laughing, eating, sharing---so beautiful. the little kids were so cute--elvis´s son, one of our semillas kids as well, asked me as we were passing around chocolate, "lupita, how many can i have?", and i told him, "as many as you want", and his face just lit up! and he was like "i´m gonna put a few in my pocket to take home for later", i was like "absolutely!"--my heart melted....

let´s see, what else, what else----oh funny moment with chiquititos at semillas! ha, i have to tell you---so i was doing the vowels with them the other day, they love it---they scream out "A, E, I, O, U, cuantás vacas tienes tu"---so after we moved on from that, we do--MA, ME, MI, MO, MU, and so on with all the letters---well we learning new words for MA, ME, etc---so i was going okay, can anyone tell me a word that begins with MA---and then they would yell, mariposa, mapa, mano, mango, manzana---yadda yadda, well i asked jhon piel--one of the cutest little kids, probs one of my favs even though i shouldn´t have one----if he could think of a word...so he gets into pensive mood for a few seconds and then shouts out "PAPAYA!!!!"---when i tell you i was laughing so hard i was crying, it was one of those adorable children moments, that you just can´t replicate...and it gets better..... everytime i asked him for a response, for ME, for MI, etc, he would continue to yell out PAPAYA!!! needless to say, i got my quota of belly laughs that day. it was just like, umm jhon piel, papaya begins with PA, we´re workin on MA now. and he´d be like ooooooh okay....repeat papaya.....think again....repeat papaya. too much.

semillas has just been so great though. seriously. it´s a blast. it doesn´t stress me out anymore, and it doesn´t make me cringe---it´s just a part of my day, and a fun part of my day for that matter. i think i´m learning how cool kids really are. they are funny and full of personality. and as bad and nasty as they can be sometimes, most days i leave there laughing at funny moments. christmas is going to be hard though. i´m already feeling strange about it. as rostro volunteers we´re not allowed to "gift give", and that´s a really hard thing for me. i want to give these kids new shoes, and pencils, and backpacks, and hair bands, and new markers, and we´re just not allowed to do that. i know christmas is NOT about gifts, i mean i fully understand that, but that doesn´t change the fact that i want to give these kids everything i possibly can. it´s something i´m definitely struggling with. hopefully though we´ll be able to have a christmas party for them and do games with prizes and sweets---a little something to spread holiday cheer. and prizes don´t fall under the gift giving category so that´s a good thing!

i´m trying to think if there´s anything else i wanted to share with you guys today, there probably is but i just can´t think anymore right now. it´s so hard to keep track when everyday is filled with so many moments that i wish i could tell you immediately after they happen. i just want to pick up the phone and be like, i´ve got the funniest story for you---i always have to make mental notes and be like, oh this is definitely "write home worthy"....but a lot of the details inevitably get left out!

the gist of this blog is that: things are positive here. really good for that matter. as anxious as i was about experiencing christmas here without my family, i think that after all--it´s going to be a really moving experience. something i will always have. as difficult as it may be.

and on that note, i´ve got to get out of this sauna-esque cyber---i know i say it all the time, but seriously, you are always in my thoughts...always!! you may think i´m too busy to think about you, but it´s not true, on my bus rides, during semillas activities, thoughts of people from home always cross my mind. i´m thinking "hmmm i wonder what katie´s up to right now in DC? she´s probably on a run, or i bet Jen is at the clinic giving flu shots---or it´s sunday, i bet my parents are out having breakfast at some new local"----it´s constant, really. i miss you. punto. i miss you all so much, and not being with you during the holiday season is hard for me, hard, but not impossible. distance is nothing. we´re still connected.

alright, i´ve gotta run, LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUU!! always,
keep smiling :-)
jamie