ahhhhh ecuador, sometimes ya just kill me!!!

hello all!

so it´s june 27th, JUNE 27!!! can you freaking believe it?? i certainly can´t. almost a year has passed, and it´s still really hard for me to comprehend. i STILL feel like this culture and this country are so foreign to me. yes i´ve learned a ton, but there is still SO MUCH that i can´t seem to grasp. everyday new challenges, new adventures, new "cultural customs" i encounter--that blow my mine. karla and i were just saying this morning, "ecuador, why do you continue to frustrate me...." let me try and explain. this whole weekend has been a sequence of mishaps that fortunately, have ended positively, but nevertheless, have been completely stressful.

it started on friday with our paseo. we were so excited---taking 13 kids to see Toy Story 3. heck, we were probably more excited than the kids....but let´s take a look at what happened. while organizing the kids we realized, oh wait, we´ve got one extra, Ivan brought his little brother Diego, 5---now, let me pose this to you all, how do you tell this little child he can´t go?? how? seriously, i couldn´t do it. he was so excited, and again here we go with the miscommunication, he thought he was going, was ready to go, and excited to go....we had no choice but to bring him along. blip number 1, and now onto number 2, Raul, one of our oldest kids, who we have slowly but surely gained the trust of, told us he couldn´t come because he had to watch his little brother Josue.....ughhh dilemma, we wanted him to be able to go so badly because he really deserved it---so what did we do, we took both of them.... now we have 13 other kids looking at us like, and probably wondering, what the hell are these gringos doing----ya know what, you just can´t win...you´re never going to please everyone right? so much stress, so much anxiety---bringing 15 kids into the city of Guayaquil is anything but enjoyable. crossing streets, holding hands, trying to get there on time...i swear, i felt like i was going to have a heart attack by the end....but long story short, we got there, the movie was HILARIOUS, even in spanish, so witty and clever--i recommend it to anyone---josue actually wanted to sit on my lap while watching the movie, and that for me was probably one of the moments that made the whole day worth it. he was so cuddly and cute and watching him laugh and smile made me relax and realize, ya know what it´s all gonna be okay. i just wish the the stress of the whole day didn´t have to be so ingrained in my head as well....

now onto saturday----another day of crazy ecua disorganization, if that´s even a word.....our parish, virgin of perpetual help, had it´s feast day, so in honor of that we put on one of those church festivals, minus the carnival, minus the cotton candy....our group, rostro that is, was in charge of making popcorn to sell.....now let´s remind ourselves, here we are in ecuador, there are no microwaves, so thanks to karla who slaved away in the kitchen for about 4 hours, we made 5lbs of popcorn, on the stove, in a pot, trying at best not to burn anything....so obnoxious...absolutely obnoxious....and the thing is we probably spent 5 dollars making all of it, and sold each bag for 25 cents....i believe our profit was about 2 dollars!! ahhhhhh are you kidding me?? so frustrating....anyway, the event was fun last night, lots of ecua singing and hand gestures----even some reggaeton which is always surprising at a church function. but all in all it was fun, just inefficient i felt....but again who am i to judge...

and today----so while karla was busy making popcorn, i was doing 8 loads of laundry from all of the donations that retreat groups leave behind. reason for this being, today a group of high school students from nuevo mundo was sponsoring a tag sale, pulgero, to help raise money to renovate the park we use at semillas....again great idea, but so poorly organized. and doing freaking 8 loads of laundry in one day is enough to make anyone cranky(maybe that´s partially our fault, but who has time??).....so yeah, we got all the clothes cleaned, then brought them over to the tag sale which we were told would start at 11, however, low and behold, they decided to start at 9!!! wtf? seriously ecuador? if anything, we were expecting a late start time, but oh no not this time....you really can´t win---so every person that we had told about the tag sale was extremely upset at us because we told them 11, and basically all the clothes were gone by 10am.....ughhhhhhh YOU JUST CAN´T WIN!!!

so yeah, that was my venting session at the frustration i´m feeling right now in regards to this country. i just feel like everytime we try to do something "good", it either a. turns into a ridiculous amount of stress b. turns into something we can´t even participate in or c. well i guess a and b suffice.....i´m finding that it´s just really hard for me STILL to acclimate to the culture here. things are done so differently, i see things as very unorganized and i´m constantly getting stressed when it´s really something i shouldn´t stress about.....i´m ready to come home. and do things in an orderly manner. to speak my own language and organize events in the way i would like them to run....now i know that sounds extremely egotistical and self-centered, but i´m just really tired. and i think that my type A personality just does not coincide with life here. seriously it doesn´t......

okay so let me end on a few positive notes, because that rant was probably unnecessary......1. i just had my final retreat group seattle u with me for the past week, and they were awesome....i had somuch fun with them, and they were truly a great note to end my year on. 2. dan´s parents are here for a few days and they are providing all of us with much needed laughs and parental comforts, not to mention they brought the entire trader joe´s stock to our house in about 4 suitcases---very much appreciated!! and 3. due to the lack of time i have left in ecuador, i feel very free, in the sense that i am just trying to enjoy every minute i possibly can with every person i want to spend time with---obviously there have been a few road blocks this past week, but all in all, things are really great. i am just a the point right now where i feel excited and ready to come home. of course goodbyes are going to be so painful, but i knew this was coming, and i signed up for it. so as with everything in my life, i´m going to take it a day at a time, and just enjoy where i´m at right now, in this moment. because let´s face it, this moment is the only one that matters....

just breathe.....period.

love you all so much,
jamie