Gracias!

So in light of this thanksgiving holiday, i´d like to share a quote i have found particularly moving throughout my time here:

"Gratitude is not just a psychological disposition, but a virtue. Gratitude is ultimate participation in the divine life itself. The spirit of God in us recognizes God in the world. The eyes and ears by which we can see God in others are in fact spiritual sensitivies that allow us to receive our neighbor as a messenger of God himself."---Henri Nouwen

I am so blessed. Beyond blessed actually. Yesterday was another pivotal marker on my timeline for this year. Something was different, and i felt it all day. While it was a sad day for me, that did not change the fact that my ultimate disposition was joyful. It started at 6am when i decided to make a banana bread to bring into Redima to celebrate at work. I had to run out at the crack of dawn and buy the necessary ingredients, flour, sugar, bananas, etc but i felt like that part of craziness coincided with that normally felt on a holiday day---at my last stop i realized i forgot the vanilla, so i randomly asked the bread shop if they knew where i could get some---he then pulled out this big economy sized bottle of vanilla from his fridge and poured out a solid 1/2 cup for me to use. When i asked him how much, he just said, "no no, just take it". I was like are you sure, and he was like absolutely--I don´t know if it was just the mood i woke up in but for some reason even that small act touched me. From that moment on, the day only continued being beautiful.

While i was lugging the hot pan of banana bread on the bus to Redima, i got very strange stares, (here i was this crazy gringa trying to catch a bus with a hot pan, you can imagine how graceful i looked) after i got on a lady sat down next to me and asks , "a vender" to sell? and i was like oh no, it´s a gift, for my friends at work---and she was just like it smells delicious, tell me about it--so of course i did, and then i realized, what the hell---it´s thanksgiving, a day of sharing food with others, so i just cut her out a slice to try (even though it killed me to break into my beautifully baked presentation, i figured it would be very hypocritical not to share in that moment) she of course loved it, and that made me smile. who knows if that small act prompted her to share kindness with others that day.

Anyway, so when i got to Redima, they all loved the bread and wanted the details about the recipe etc. I tried to explain to them how grateful i was for their guidance and presence and continued hospitality, and was met with many hugs and lots of kisses. Then....after i explained how today (well yesterday now) we celebrate our holiday with turkey, yadda yadda stuff---my "boss" Ada, goes out to buy sweet breads for us to celebrate the holidays at work! I was just like are you kidding me?? Here i was trying to express my gratitude by bringing them in a treat, and then they go out to try and make me feel better about missing "my" holiday and bring back more food for us to share together. This is just a small insight into how truly giving they are. Their generousity and ultimate self-gift is so profoundly moving for me. I am blessed by their small acts everyday, and everyday i just wonder how i can be more like them, more generous, more giving. For those of you who know me, sharing is definitely not my strong point. But i´m trying so hard to work on it!

After my day at Redima, Karla and I spent the afternoon together, and it was just lovely---we sat and shared coffee and talked about holiday memories, and how this year will always be special to us, even though we miss home and are sad. We will continue to have countless holidays with our families, but this year, we will never get back. We tried to keep reminding ourselves of how lucky we are just to be here experiencing this--gaining this insight and growth, making these relationships, having these conversations--so much to be grateful for. My whole family even called too from Boston and I got to talk with everyone, which was amazing! it was like I was right there with them--sitting at the table, laughing at the craziness that is my family :-)

The day only continued to get better at Semillas---i don´t know what else to say except i love those kids. I absolutely adore them. They have become what I think about during my daydreaming episodes--I wonder about what they´re doing at school, what they´re doing at home, what they´re eating, if they´re eating, if they´re parents are home, what activity i can play with them today, how i can be more creative with them, how i can get them to be more creative with their own ideas---they consume my thoughts. I am greeted everday by tons of hugs and kisses, and until yesterday I don´t think i ever really appreciated how much love I am shown everyday. Without fail. They are all so beautiful. After semillas Karla and I headed back down to the "center" of arbolito and sat on the curb enjoying a chocolate pan--a little holiday treat we gave ourselves. Sitting there in that moment, I felt it again--joy, yes I was sad I wasn´t home, but that didn´t change how profound my feeling of joy was. It was so simple, but there was no place else i would have rather been then right there, sitting with Karla, talking about Semillas kids, and laughing about the stupid shitt they do everyday.

We ended the afternoon by having everyone in our Rostro volunteer community over for an ecua holiday dinner---no turkey, but there was some chicken--rice, maduros, and veggies--it was delicious--and karla and i made another banana bread to have after dinner. Oh and how could i forget! Lupe!! made our thanksgiving dinner---yes---she came to our house because she knew it was a holiday for us, and helped cook for everyone---she wanted us to have a beautiful, delicious dinner, and therefore made sure it would be. I am continually blown away by all that is Lupe. She is one of the most giving people I have ever met.

And it still isn´t over--tonight we are all invited over to our friend Pat´s house for a "real" thanksgiving dinner--turkey and all the other stuff will be there---how lucky are we?? no seriously, how freaking lucky are we? I really can´t get over it at times. Here I am celebrating two delicious meals with plenty of people who may as well be my family, and then there are some of my semillas kids who are content each night eating a plate of rice. How does that not break your heart?

So yeah....I am grateful....and I am joyful....sad, but joyful. I love my life here, and find such beauty in so many small moments each day. While I wished I could´ve been at Jacki´s pre-holiday party on Wednesday night playing trivial pursuit or left right center while eating pumpkin pie, I know I will have plenty more of those memories to come. Would I have loved to crash at the Altieri´s for some crazy Kelly fun and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, absolutely, but I have my whole life to live next door to that family that I love so much. Right now, I am here in Ecuador, and in this moment I am grateful for all that that means to me.

Oh yeah, and I am thankful that I am officially "lice-free" ,-)