Gracias!

So in light of this thanksgiving holiday, i´d like to share a quote i have found particularly moving throughout my time here:

"Gratitude is not just a psychological disposition, but a virtue. Gratitude is ultimate participation in the divine life itself. The spirit of God in us recognizes God in the world. The eyes and ears by which we can see God in others are in fact spiritual sensitivies that allow us to receive our neighbor as a messenger of God himself."---Henri Nouwen

I am so blessed. Beyond blessed actually. Yesterday was another pivotal marker on my timeline for this year. Something was different, and i felt it all day. While it was a sad day for me, that did not change the fact that my ultimate disposition was joyful. It started at 6am when i decided to make a banana bread to bring into Redima to celebrate at work. I had to run out at the crack of dawn and buy the necessary ingredients, flour, sugar, bananas, etc but i felt like that part of craziness coincided with that normally felt on a holiday day---at my last stop i realized i forgot the vanilla, so i randomly asked the bread shop if they knew where i could get some---he then pulled out this big economy sized bottle of vanilla from his fridge and poured out a solid 1/2 cup for me to use. When i asked him how much, he just said, "no no, just take it". I was like are you sure, and he was like absolutely--I don´t know if it was just the mood i woke up in but for some reason even that small act touched me. From that moment on, the day only continued being beautiful.

While i was lugging the hot pan of banana bread on the bus to Redima, i got very strange stares, (here i was this crazy gringa trying to catch a bus with a hot pan, you can imagine how graceful i looked) after i got on a lady sat down next to me and asks , "a vender" to sell? and i was like oh no, it´s a gift, for my friends at work---and she was just like it smells delicious, tell me about it--so of course i did, and then i realized, what the hell---it´s thanksgiving, a day of sharing food with others, so i just cut her out a slice to try (even though it killed me to break into my beautifully baked presentation, i figured it would be very hypocritical not to share in that moment) she of course loved it, and that made me smile. who knows if that small act prompted her to share kindness with others that day.

Anyway, so when i got to Redima, they all loved the bread and wanted the details about the recipe etc. I tried to explain to them how grateful i was for their guidance and presence and continued hospitality, and was met with many hugs and lots of kisses. Then....after i explained how today (well yesterday now) we celebrate our holiday with turkey, yadda yadda stuff---my "boss" Ada, goes out to buy sweet breads for us to celebrate the holidays at work! I was just like are you kidding me?? Here i was trying to express my gratitude by bringing them in a treat, and then they go out to try and make me feel better about missing "my" holiday and bring back more food for us to share together. This is just a small insight into how truly giving they are. Their generousity and ultimate self-gift is so profoundly moving for me. I am blessed by their small acts everyday, and everyday i just wonder how i can be more like them, more generous, more giving. For those of you who know me, sharing is definitely not my strong point. But i´m trying so hard to work on it!

After my day at Redima, Karla and I spent the afternoon together, and it was just lovely---we sat and shared coffee and talked about holiday memories, and how this year will always be special to us, even though we miss home and are sad. We will continue to have countless holidays with our families, but this year, we will never get back. We tried to keep reminding ourselves of how lucky we are just to be here experiencing this--gaining this insight and growth, making these relationships, having these conversations--so much to be grateful for. My whole family even called too from Boston and I got to talk with everyone, which was amazing! it was like I was right there with them--sitting at the table, laughing at the craziness that is my family :-)

The day only continued to get better at Semillas---i don´t know what else to say except i love those kids. I absolutely adore them. They have become what I think about during my daydreaming episodes--I wonder about what they´re doing at school, what they´re doing at home, what they´re eating, if they´re eating, if they´re parents are home, what activity i can play with them today, how i can be more creative with them, how i can get them to be more creative with their own ideas---they consume my thoughts. I am greeted everday by tons of hugs and kisses, and until yesterday I don´t think i ever really appreciated how much love I am shown everyday. Without fail. They are all so beautiful. After semillas Karla and I headed back down to the "center" of arbolito and sat on the curb enjoying a chocolate pan--a little holiday treat we gave ourselves. Sitting there in that moment, I felt it again--joy, yes I was sad I wasn´t home, but that didn´t change how profound my feeling of joy was. It was so simple, but there was no place else i would have rather been then right there, sitting with Karla, talking about Semillas kids, and laughing about the stupid shitt they do everyday.

We ended the afternoon by having everyone in our Rostro volunteer community over for an ecua holiday dinner---no turkey, but there was some chicken--rice, maduros, and veggies--it was delicious--and karla and i made another banana bread to have after dinner. Oh and how could i forget! Lupe!! made our thanksgiving dinner---yes---she came to our house because she knew it was a holiday for us, and helped cook for everyone---she wanted us to have a beautiful, delicious dinner, and therefore made sure it would be. I am continually blown away by all that is Lupe. She is one of the most giving people I have ever met.

And it still isn´t over--tonight we are all invited over to our friend Pat´s house for a "real" thanksgiving dinner--turkey and all the other stuff will be there---how lucky are we?? no seriously, how freaking lucky are we? I really can´t get over it at times. Here I am celebrating two delicious meals with plenty of people who may as well be my family, and then there are some of my semillas kids who are content each night eating a plate of rice. How does that not break your heart?

So yeah....I am grateful....and I am joyful....sad, but joyful. I love my life here, and find such beauty in so many small moments each day. While I wished I could´ve been at Jacki´s pre-holiday party on Wednesday night playing trivial pursuit or left right center while eating pumpkin pie, I know I will have plenty more of those memories to come. Would I have loved to crash at the Altieri´s for some crazy Kelly fun and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, absolutely, but I have my whole life to live next door to that family that I love so much. Right now, I am here in Ecuador, and in this moment I am grateful for all that that means to me.

Oh yeah, and I am thankful that I am officially "lice-free" ,-)

drum roll please....

well it´s finally happened.

i have lice. ha. mom, please don´t stress. as i´m writing this, i´m just laughing. it´s really just too funny. i don´t want you to think i´m freaking out, because honestly, i´ve been very calm about this. maybe three months ago i would´ve had a cow, but right now, it´s just too comical. it was absolutely inevitable too.

there are a handful of kids at semillas who have it, and the other day i came home from work and went to lupe´s, and was just like, " lupe, my head is really itchy, i think i might have lice" and she was like "come here mi hija". so i sat down while she combed through my hair, picking little "piojos" out left and right. there was something very soothing about this whole process. as disgusting as it is, i felt very tranquila and safe, and unaffected whatsoever. lupe just kept saying, "don´t worry hunny we´ll fix this, we´ll get through it". i was so at ease.

let me be the first to say, i was always completely grossed out by lice before i came here. even the thought of it made me tic, but seriously, it´s not that bad. i´m really okay, and it´s not even that itchy. it´s just another "ecua" thing here, that is absolutely a part of life. while i might get rid of them now, the probability that i will get them again before i leave is very high, so why freak when there´s no need.

in other news---field trip today!! woot woooooot! and guess where we´re going?!?!
MCDONALDS!!

yup that´s right---straight to the golden arches! the kids are really pumped too, i hope everything goes smoothly--again the best 10 kids from the past week were invited to come. hamberguesas for all! :-)

let´s see what else to report on: well, we´ve started a new little running club here in arbolito--tom and i are the main members, but theresa and dan have joined in a few times too. it´s a really nice way to start my mornings--behind our house is literally barren land, uninhabited, kinda looks like the african savannah, so we just run out as far as we feel like and then turn back around to head back. it´s so peaceful and quiet, and i really enjoy the conversations that take place during those runs. well, sometimes tom forgets that he´s a harvard trained football player running with an unathletic female, and he can get a little too intense for my out of shape abilities, so the conversation at least takes my mind off the fact that i´m usually sucking wind.

and i´ve also been tutoring 2 little girls in english every afternoon after semillas---it is absolutely one of the highlights of my day--they are soo sweet and adorable, and i LOVE them. Evelyn is 8 and Angie is 12 and we have SO much fun together. i taught them the ABC´s and head, shoulders, knees and toes (which they loved!) and now we are working on numbers, colors, and days of the week. we just laugh so much, and it´s always very chill. they´re jsut awesome girls, and i´m so happy to have them be a part of my ecualife.

that´s about it for now folks. life is still really good here, still really funny all the time--lots of laughter being had in the arbolito house--yesterday in particular with a certain bathroom incident that i will not be elaborating on, but use your imagination.

anyway, i love and miss you ALL so freaking much. i´m sending you cyber hugs as we speak!
keep the letters coming--they are such a high for me!
paz y amor,
lupita

baby when the lights go out....aka se fue la luz

alright--so get this.

we´re short on power----no let me refrase that: ecuador is short on power.

what exactly does this mean? well, ecuador gets its power from a river/water source/ or something like that (i´m still not so great on translating general media, i.e. newspapers, news, etc) and it has not rained a day since i´ve gotten here (3months). hence the river is low....hence it´s not generating power----hence....and here comes the clincher----we lose power everyday for about 5 hours---also known as "rolling blackouts"....again what does this all mean??

well everyday i wake up with no power---not really a big deal, seeing that it´s bright out and we don´t really use power for anything in the morning. but then the power goes out again at about 6:30pm to around 9:30pm....hmmm what time does the sun set here--oh yeah that´s right, 6:30pm, pitch blackness---DARKNESS, you would think it´s 10pm at night at that time...so basically what we´re living is this: cooking in the dark, reading in the dark, showering in the dark, planning activities in the dark, sitting in the dark, talking in the dark, praying in the dark, doing yoga in the dark, peeing in the dark and the list goes on....we´ve been doing this black out thing for about a week now, and i was like alright, i´m okay, yeah it creeps me out and all, but i can handle this for a few more days----wait for it......wait for it----you probably already know what´s coming

we were told yesterday that this will probably go on for 60 DAYS!!! ARE YOU SHITTING ME!!! 60 DAYS! YOU´VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! we will not have power until the "rains" come. i´m strangely starting to feel like noah. me and karla literally just looked at each other and started hysterically laughing....and then the tears came--i mean seriously??? what is my life??.....now this may not seem like a big deal, and i guess it is pretty minor, but try to imagine cooking a meal for five people by candlelight, try to imagine showering in the pitch black---it really isn´t easy! thank god for gas stoves, but still! i just had to vent a bit because as we´re experiencing, and continuing to live: ECUADOR ALWAYS WINS. punto.

thank god i brought a headlamp.

Aloja Loja!

Hi Mom, Dad, Brandon, Grams, Auntie, Voutey Girls, Altieri´s, Kanoffs, family, friends, everyone I love!

¿How are you all? Todo bien I hope. Again as I sit down to write this entry, I feel like I have so much to say and am not quite sure how to write it--so many GREAT things have been going on in my life---the most exciting probably being the four day vacation I took to Vilcabamba, Loja this past weekend. Absolutely amazing. I´m going to try my best to update you on this crazy life, but my thoughts are most likely going to be scattered, per usual. Let´s see how this turns out.

Here goes....

So last friday at about 11pm, Mary, Megan, and I set out for our destination---Le Rendezvous Hosteria in Vilcabamba, Loja--aka the ciudad de juventud---or city of youth. Megan had been talking about Vilcabamba for a while saying that she really wanted to get back there during one of our long weekends, and based on her descriptions of this quaint little town, I knew that it had to be a place I visited before I left Ecuador. Let´s just say that this little town surpassed all of my expectations and now ranks pretty highly in my list of travels---I will definitely go back one day. Maybe even my honeymoon....well i guess i shouldn´t get ahead of myself ha.

You´re probably wondering why we left at 11 at night, and that is because in order to get to this lovely place, we needed to hop on a bus for 9 hrs---yeah that´s right, i was on a bus for 9hrs overnight. and surprisingly, i handled it pretty well, i guess i should also mention that this 9hr bus ride was up through the Andes mountains. so for about 2 hrs during our ascension up the rocky cliffs, i was pretty much scared shittless, but again--handled myself well ha---like i said, i´d do it again---well worth the trip. So we got to Vilcabamba at about 8am, and fortunately weren´t wiped from an overnight bus.

Our Hostel was absolutely adorable---when I say I felt like I was in a storybook--I do not lie. We had our own room, own bathroom, with HOT water, a little terrace with a hammock, and from our front door we had the most beautiful view of gardens and mountains. It was breathtaking. Not to mention, the climate in this town is described as a "constant spring"---perfectly temperate--so being there was an awesome reprieve from the hundred degree heat we face everyday here in Durán. The Hostel was run by a cute little french couple who moved to Vilcabamba after traveling there and falling in love with the place--i can totally see how that happened, so easy to do---they greeted us every morning so cheerily, and as part of our stay there we were given a DELICIOUS breakfast served fresh to us every morning on our terrace---overlooking the mountains, the gardens, the humingbirds, beauty, life etc----i need to elaborate more on this breakfast because for me it was definitely one of the highlights of my trip---fresh squeezed pinapple, mango, passion fruit and orange juice, hot, rich, brewed coffee in a cute little ceramic pot, fresh fruit cup with papaya, banana, watermelon, mango, scrambled eggs, crunchy, CRUNCHY real wheat toast with seeds and nuts and all that good stuff topped with real butter and french jam--maybe the best bread i have ever eaten--ya know what, maybe even the best breakfast i´ve ever eaten. i mean all of that paired with the view, the climate, the "vacation" feel----those mornings were beautiful. simply marvelous as my mom might say.

so after we started each day off with the breakfast of champions---we´d head out to do some more lovely things---i.e. go horseback riding in the mountains (1st time i´ve EVER riden a horse, also 1st time I almost died on a horse---well maybe that´s exaggerating a bit, but let´s just say once is enough), shop around at the cute artisan markets, sit in café´s and eat more delicious food---crepes being one of my favorites---oh, or get massages at one of the many spas that the town prides itself on....yeah this sounds ridiculous doesn´t it---it was---that juxtaposed next to my life in Durán--you really can´t get more opposite. and i´m not saying i "deserved" this vacation after living in Durán for 3 months, because it´s not like that either---it´s just that this was definitely a time to replenish---a time to focus on me for a little bit, and enjoy some of the beautiful things Ecuador has to offer. i hope this doesn´t sound selfish, well i guess in a way it kind of was...but a good selfish---like it was necessary for me to take care of myself, and breathe for a bit, so that i could continue to grow and take care of others---and i really don´t even think im rationalizing.

anyways---i guess what i´m trying to say is that Vilcabamba was the clean, pure, breath of fresh air that i was really craving. and we had SO much fun---Mary is just hilarious--so funny and real--traveling with her was a great decision because we were on the same page for everything we wanted to do. i never felt that stress or obligation that i had to sacrifice or "do" something i didn´t want to just to compromise with what the group wanted to do. we always agreed which was easy. and what else... let´s see---i mean there really isn´t much else to say---overall just so relaxing, so chill, so fun, and necessary. if i had to put a number on this trip it would definitely get a 9.5/10---the only thing that would´ve made it better would´ve been if my mom was there to have breakfast with me every morning. all i kept thinking about was---geeze my mom would love this moment---maybe one day she´ll come back with me, but i think we´d have to fly there because there´s no way in hell she´d ever get on the same bus i did--sorry mom!

back to work on wednesday after a lovely trip...however, i really wasn´t dreading it---redima wasn´t bad, and semillas was...well...okay---we had another incident on wednesday, but i really can´t even get into it right now---maybe in time i´ll be able to write about it, but for right now, it´s still pretty raw.

and today is friday---these weeks just keep on flying! 3 months! i´ve been here for 3 months, and i still can´t believe it. it scares me when i turn the page on my calendar without ever even looking at the month that passed. so bizarre.

well i´ve gotta run, there´s more i could say, but i´ve just spent way to much time and money in this stupid little cyber. oh! i need to give a little shout out to Big Bri---he needs to know how much he brightened my day this past wednesday after a really shitty semillas afternoon. so thank you for that. seriously.

i love love love you all, but i hope you know that. happy belated birthday Troy! i was thinking about you yesterday, but couldn´t get to a computer!

the letters have all been great! thank you everyone!

i´m going to try and put pictures of vilcabamba up soon---but also check out mary´s blog because she might get them up quicker than i can--marycarlton.blogspot.com

miss you mucho!
xoxox,
lupita