GOAL!!!!

the only real purpose of this entry is to let you all know that i scored my first goal yesterday while playing fútbol with our semillas ayudantes. and who exactly are the semillas ayudantes, they are a group of about 10, seventeen to twenty year old boys who help us out at semillas and are ridiculous at soccer, absolutely ridiculous---and yes, against them...i scored a goal!

may not seem like a huge deal, but for me, this was a HUGE accomplishment! such a high!

so yeah, that´s really it---big smile still on my face, and today we´re going on a great paseo to the pool with ten of our best little semillitas. they´re so excited it´s so cute. i´ll let you know how it goes next time!
love ya,
jamie

thin places

so what exactly is a thin place? we talked about this the other night as a community and i found the image really profound---many people say that a thin place, is where the edges of heaven and earth collide, where you can feel a presence, a force, more powerful than any one thing. some people call this God, other´s call it love, i think it´s just a combination of both, where the realization of human interdependendness and connectedness are made known.

here in Ecuador i have come across many thin places---some are physically breathtaking, like when i was on vacation in Loja, looking out at the beautiful views of the mountains, or sitting in hammocks within the gardens of our hostel----but then again i have also experienced those thin places right here in Durán, those beautiful spots where i am overcome by feelings of immense love and support, and just an overall appreciation for the life i am living---sitting at Lupe´s kitchen table drinking cafécito, or playing pato, pato, pollo with the chiquititos at Semillas, or most recently running around the community during Carneval getting soaked by water and paint as our neighbors introduced us to a huge tradition here in Ecuador.

it´s those places and moments in my life where i feel that tangible love. when i feel like my life is so beautiful, and i know i am loved, and that i love so many people. and it´s not just here in Ecuador that i´ve had those experiences, they were home too. which is why i know that i will be okay when i go back to the states---these places are everywhere, it´s just a matter of recognizing them in our day to day.

life here in Durán has been excellent, like really amazing. my house community has been clicking well---i can´t remember if i told you, but we are in the midst of watching Gilmore Girls---we started about a month back with season 1, and we´re already in the middle of season 5--it´s sort of become like an obsession to us, like we have to watch it and finish all 7 seasons---dan is livid, so we can really only watch it when he´s not home, but tom on the other hand is a pretty big fan. there´s just one thing, our tv remote doesn´t work, so when we sit down to watch GG, we have to watch all 4 episodes at a time, because we can´t flick through them. it´s really a commitment ya see, and we´re very dedicated---hence you can probably understand why dan wants to kill us all. we just keep reminding him though that there´s only 2 seasons left, and that when we´re done, we´re going to have a party...and after that he can choose the show of choice.

aside from that, nothing too much going on here that´s different from the day to day--we just had two groups here, one from st. john´s prep in danvers, and one from dominican academy in nyc---both really awesome groups, lots of fun, lots of new energy. valentines day was great too, we ended up losing power, so were forced to have a candlelit dinner ha! how sweet :-)

still missing everyone like crazy----if by any chance anyone has any desire to come to ecuador, please let me know! i´d love to see your face down here! i´ve gotta run for now, but be on the look out for those thin places, let me know what you find.

love you all so much,
jamie

dengue smengue

so for the first time since i´ve been to ecuador, i legit thought i was going to die last week. now that is not to scare you all terribly, it´s just an uncensored statement about my state of health about four days ago.

due to our montón de mosquitos that constantly grace us with their presence, i contracted dengue last week. now for all of you who don´t know what dengue is í´ve done a bit of research to inform you---according to my faithful wikepedia source "The disease manifests as a sudden onset of severe headache, muscle and joint pains (myalgias and arthralgias—severe pain that gives it the nickname break-bone fever or bonecrusher disease), fever, and rash.[8] The dengue rash is characteristically bright red petechiae and usually appears first on the lower limbs and the chest; in some patients, it spreads to cover most of the body. There may also be gastritis with some combination of associated abdominal pain, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea."

so let´s see, severe headache, check; muscle and joint pain, check; feelings that my bones were literally being crushed, check, red rash, check, abdominal pain, nausea check--God spaired me the vomiting and diarrhea which is a good thing or i probably would´ve died----am i painting a pretty picture for you all---yes. it was absolutely horrible. i don´t recommend it for anyone, BUT i survived, and as the old saying goes, it could´ve been much worse---ya see i only has classic dengue, there´s another type, hemorrhagic where you just start hemorrhaging and that´s the case where you could potentially die. Gracias a Dios i didn´t have that one.

so now after conquering that feat i feel like saying..."what now Ecuador???--what else ya got for me?" even though i´m a little bit scared of what else could possibly come my way....as the old saying goes "Ecuador always wins", and it most certainly coul always get worse. i will say though that the community support throughout all of this was tremendous---they all kept checking on me, Karla brought me gatorade, it was all very sweet. if i couldn´t have my mom taking care of me, the next best thing was the arbolito gang.

so being healthy again rocks. you never really appreciate your health until you come off sickness. yesterday i woke up and was just like wow, it feels so good to wake up "well". and i had a great day on top of it. lots of love was being spread yesterday. i dunno what it was, but there were great vibes---patients were all friendly, i helped out at the comedor making lunch with all the women, braided so many french braids at semillas to all the little groupie girls, talked with some awesome neighbors, ate a delicious meal prepared by tom and his mom. ya know when you just have one of those days when you think, wow, this is good. that´s how i felt. i felt like God just kept gracing me all day with so much love---oh! so many letters too! you people really know how to brighten a day. i just had a permanent smile plastered on my face. but a little gentle reminder--while i do LOVE receiving things from you guys, it´s really hard to pick up packages that aren´t in bubble envelopes, or are over four pounds---so for the future, if there is a future with mail, just make sure they´re under 4, and in bubble sobres. graciasss.

and that about sums up my current thoughts for the moment. it´s hard because recently i´ve been thinking a lot about next year, coming home, and where that will leave me. lots of thoughts were leavign me with a lot of stress, and worry about what i´m supposed to do with all "this". so i finally made the executive decision that i´m not going to think about next year while i´m HERE. for exactly that reason....i am HERE...not THERE. these next 6 months are going to fly, and one day in the near future, i´m not going to have my "time in Ecuador". this is what´s important. this here and now. and really, what good is worrying about the future going to do? it´s not like i can get much done from here anyway.

so that´s that people. i hope i´ve distracted you for a minute or two, or at least got you thinking about what´s positive in your day today. because really, whatever you´re stressing about in this moment right now, probably isn´t that important. not to de-value any struggle, but honestly, what are you really battling? i´m sorry, i don´t know where this preachiness is coming from...i´ll stop now. i love you all, and miss you dearly---especially all my awesome pulsers---wherever you are, pulse office or not, know that i´m thinking about you!!!

con paz y amor,
jamie

mouse hunt!

so this past weekend our entire community spent 3 days at the beach on retreat in a town called Playas. we´re officially hitting the 6 month mark this week, and were fortunate enough to get some time away from Durán to gain some insight and perspective. lucky for me, this retreat also fell on my birthday, so while it was hard to be away from some of our neighbors that i would´ve loved to celebrate with---it was also really great to just relax and chill, swimming in the waves all weekend.

while our retreat house was not exactly the hilton, i must say, i was pretty proud of myself for going with the flow and breathing easy. i think it´s a true testament to how far i´ve come in terms of "tolerance" for the little things in life. if you had asked me to stay there 6 months ago i probably would´ve looked you in the eye and said "absolutely not, hellzzz no!", but this time around, i was much more chill about it. or at least i´d like to think so.

we all got wayy too much sun, sometimes we forget we do in fact live on the equator, but had an awesome time. for me personally, i had some time to reflect on why i did in fact decide to come to ecuador---what God is calling me to do with this experience---and where i see myself going after this....unfortunately, there were no concrete answers discovered from my internal interrogation, but i felt like it was healthy to re-evaluate things. one of my favorite things to do is journal, and sometimes it´s so hard to find time to do that here, so i was really grateful to be able to write and reflect.

so after 3 sun spent days, we headed back to Durán. completely exhausted (not sure how relaxing swimming really was) but feeling that good tired. Karla then decided she was going to make me magic cookie bars for my birthday, and after they were done, the five of us literally sat around the table with spoons just digging in! they were delicious, and we had such a giddy night just laughing and picking out celebrity spouses for each other...as simple as it sounds, i felt so blessed to be exactly where i was, and spend my 23rd birthday around such cool people.

then.....the fun came. just as karla was about to go to bed (mind you she sleeps on the same side of the house that i do) i hear this terrifying scream come from her bedroom. yes, a mouse, in her room. well of course she couldn´t go to sleep with that around, and i certainly couldn´t knowing the close proximity to my room. so the three of us, karla, theresa, and i, staged a mouse hunt running and screaming around the house until finally---must´ve been birthday luck--i caught the mouse in a bucket. we were pissing our pants laughing so hard, but at the same time were really terrified! now i am a very humane person, but unfortunately, that mouse had to go, so after some serious shakage, and a little bit of fumigation---that mouse was toast. after that escapade we were truly exhausted and headed to bed. a pretty awesome birthday if i do say so. i can´t thank everyone enough also, for the birthday wishes that were sent! it was so great to hear from my favorite people, and i loved feeling loved to be quite honest. you all mean so much to me, and if i wasn´t here celebrating my birthday, i would´ve loved celebrating with you all.

i still miss everyone constantly. you are ALWAYS in my heart! keep in touch! thanks again for all of the continued support.

love love love,
jamie